The sporadic ramblings of Emily C. A. Snyder - devoted to God, theatre, writing, and much randominity.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

Host: "Hamlet to Hamilton: Exploring Verse Drama" | Founder: TURN TO FLESH PRODUCTIONS | Author: "Cupid and Psyche" "Nachtsturm Castle" & Others | Caitlin O'Sullivan in "The Ghost Ship" (Boston Metaphysical Society)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Suddenly I See

This is what I want to be....

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! One of the most terrifying, exhilerating experiences of my life. I can't think of when I last really, really let *loose* and just sang my heart out - without worrying about next door neighbors or folk sleeping or what others would think or technique or holding back to let others shine or just plain nerves. But it wasn't merely the bliss of music - of voice and piano combining effortlessly - but it was the thrill of performing for an audience that really, really enjoyed it. It was like I was seven again and giving the Snyder talent show on the blue rug in our living room. The acoustics were magnificent. And, despite my throat going competely dry just as I was about to go up (had to force the notes through my vocal chords initially - aaaaaugh! panic attack!) and despite the fact that my legs were actually shaking, and despite the fact that I was terrified of that high D above high C and the whole lead up to it and of forgetting my lyrics or of not being in sync with the pianist - when it started.... Oh, I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten how much I love love love to perform. I've been holding back soooooooo very long, trying to be smaller, keep out of people's ways, not sure of myself or of reception or of ability but...oh, I just want to sing and sing and sing and sing forever and ever and ever! I am so in love with life tonight! Alleluia! Alleluia and alleluia forever! Ineffable beauty! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Mood: Oh, rapture overwhelming!
Music: Evanescence's first CD second song "We'll be half way to anywhere/Where no one needs a reason why/Forget this life/Come with me/Don't look back/You're safe now/Unlock your heart/Drop your guard/No one's left to stop you!"
Thought: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Oh my darling, oh my darling

Oh my darling Clementine!
You are lost and gone forever -
Dreadful sorry, Clementine.


Right, gacked from Krissytina, who gacked it from her sister, who gacked it from who knows where, but which is muchly fun and randominity. Jules, when you get back, you are hereby taggled.

Da Rulz

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.


Tee hee hee. I am not, as Dave Barry would say, making any of this up.

  • What does next year have in store for me?
    Only Hope by Switchfoot

    "There's a song that's inside of my soul/It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again/I'm awake in the infinite cold/But You sing to me over and over again. So I lay my head back down/And I lift my hands and pray/To be only yours/I know now You're my only hope."

  • What does your love life look like?
    Nothing Else Matters by Metallica

    "So close, no matter how far/Couldn't be much more from the heart/Forever trusting who we are/And nothing else matters. Never open myself this way/Life is ours, we live it our way/All these words I don't just say/And nothing else matters. Trust I seek and I find in You/Ev'ry day for something new/Open mind for a different view/And nothing else matters."

  • What do I say when life gets hard?
    The Show Must Go On by Queen

    "Empty spaces/What are we living for?/Abandoned places/I guess we know the score/On and on/Does anybody know what we are looking for? Another hero/Another mindless crime/Behind the curtain/In the pantomime/Hold the line/Does anybody want to take it anymore? SHOW MUST GO ON! Inside my heart is breaking/My makeup may be flaking/But my smile still stays on."

  • What do I think of when I get up in the morning?
    Havana from Guys and Dolls

    OK, it's an instrumental piece, but it's the biggest dance number in G&D and it has rather been plaguing my nights!

  • What song will I dance to at my wedding?
    Can't Take It In by Imogen Heap

    "Can't close my eyes/They're wide awake/Ev'ry hair on my body/Has got a thing for this place/Oh empty my heart/I've got to make room for this feeling/So much bigger than me/It couldn't be any more beautiful - I can't take it in." Le sigh.

  • What do you want as a career?
    Hello Beastie from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

    Again, another instrumental suite - but, boo-yeah. Captain Jack Sparrow going into the belly of the beast, that's about it mates.

  • Your favorite saying?
    She Likes Me for Me by Blessed Union of Souls

    "She don't care about my car/And she don't care about my money/And that's real good 'cause I don't got a lot to spend/But if I did, it wouldn't mean nothin'/She likes me for me!/...But what she sees/Are my faults and indecisions/My insecure conditions/And the tears upon the pillow that I shed."

  • Favorite place?
    I Am the Voice by Eimear Quinn

    "I hear your voice on the wind/And I hear you call out my name./Listen my child you say to me/I am The Voice of your history/Be not afraid - come follow me/Answer my call and I'll set you free./I am The Voice in the wind and the pouring rain/I am The Voice of your hunger and pain/I am The Voice that always is calling you/I am The Voice and I will remain"

    Hrm, so either Ireland or the past....

  • What do you think of your parents?
    Lady Come Down from The Importance of Being Earnest

    "The Western wind is blowing fair/Across the dark Aegean sea/And at the secret marble stair/My Tyrian galley waits for thee/Come down the purple sail is spread/The watchman sleeps within the tower/O leave thy lily flowered bed/O lady mine, come down!"

    Apparently, my parents are living in an Oscar Wilde comedy of manners. And my father serenades my mother. Freakishly true.

  • Where would you go on a first date?
    Party Preparations from Chocolat

    So, this either means that I'll feverishly invite someone over for the hustle and bustle and hurly and burly of a family cramped home party (entirely likely), or we'll all go to a French patisserie (more yummy, but less likely, alas).

  • Drug of choice?
    The Strenuous life by Scott Joplin

    Heeeeey! No fair playing the workaholic card! (But the highly talented and creatively inclined workaholic card....)

  • Describe yourself.
    Who Will Save Your Soul? by Jewel

    "People living their lives for you on TV/They say they're better than you and you agree/He says "Hold my calls for me I must go"/Says "Come here boys, there ain't nothing for free"/Another doctor's bill, a lawyer's bill/Another cute cheap thrill/You know you love him if you put in your will/Who will save your soul when it comes to the flower/Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy/Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?"

    Hrm. Not Another Opening, Another Show? ;P

  • What is the thing I like doing most?
    Not Quite Paradise by Bliss

    "Take the path of least resistance/Into the great unknown/No directory assistance/Now you're on your own/If you're looking for a new earth/Just open up your eyes/Because it's not quite paradise/But it sure feels like home/It'll be all right/Though it's not quite/Paradise"

    So, appparently, everything on the earth?

  • The song that best describes the president?
    Night on the Balcony by Philip Glass

    A fragile harpsichord piece in repeating fugal Glassean tone, created as incidental music for The Screens which is about Algerian-British unrest and civil strife. Pick a metaphor.

  • What is my state of mind like at moment?
    Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve

    " 'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life/Trying to make ends meet/You're a slave to money then you die/I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down/You know the one that takes you to the places/where all the veins meet yeah/No change, I can't change/I can't change, I can't change/But I'm here in my mind/I am here in my mind/But I'm a million different people/from one day to the next/I can't change my mind/No, no, no/Well I never pray/But tonight I'm on my knees yeah/I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah/I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now/But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now"

  • How will I die?
    Sunset Soon Forgotten by Iron and Wine

    "Be this sunset soon forgotten/Your brothers left here shaved and crazy/We’ve learned to hide our bottles in the well/And what's worth keeping, sun still sinking/Down and down/Once again/Down and down/Gone again/Be this sunset one for keeping/This june bug street sings low and lovely/Those band-aid children/Chased your dog away/She runs, returning, sun still sinking/Down and down/Once again/Down and down/Gone again"

    Say it along with the Far Side now, "D-mn fool rode off into the sunset again."

  • The song that will be played at your funeral?
    The Imperial March: The Empire Strikes Back by John Williams

    HAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAH
    HAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH...ahem.

    Tee hee.

    Mood: BOW DOWN BEFORE ME MORTALS!
    Music: The last above
    Thought: And this one's wet and this one's wet and this one's wet....
    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

  • Woad is me

    Public Service Announcement: The following is all a metaphor. A METAPHOR. Thank you.

    So, in sprachen mit meine Mutter, I realized that I am, in fact, a bezerker. Minus the blue woad or actual weapons or visible opposing army, of course, and frequently sans kilt as well. But it takes so much effort on my part to do something - I mean, to begin something. I tend to fret, and bottle, and fret, and pace, and fret, and worry, and panic, and fret, and resist, and fret, and jog about in place until I'm running at ridiculous pace and there's no turning back...and then bezerk. And the only reason why I look confident in something is that I'm really, interiorally, running through whatever I'm doing with the metaphorical two-handed broadsword held high over my shoulder, screaming incoherently in choose-a-language, until I reach the other side, leaving a wake of casualties behind me. And the only reason I keep going is because I didn't leave every enemy dead behind me, and when I'm looking behind, they're shaking their heads clear, squinting their beady little eyes, and hefting their own battle axes to make another go of it.

    Yet, in so sprachen, I wondered if everyone who does something isn't actually an interior coward merely bezerking. Or if courage isn't, half the time, a case of simply screaming one's way through to the other side and not looking behind. I feel really rather like I'm a damp kitten attacking all that life has in store for me, but then again, damp kittens can be fiercesome.

    Right, just a few more and I'm done grading. Pats on the back are welcome. Yay for Jills' ripped CD's, downloading Matchmaker, lots and lots of Orbit gum (spearmint flavour), a bit of Eddie Izzard (listened to, can't bear to watch - I feel like my eyes are wandering independently of each other when I do) a la YouTube, a plentiful supply of caffine, encouraging familial units, and stupid TV. And you thought the trick to doing work was a college degree? HA!

    Many prayers, please, with Jules, Pete, Allie, Danae, Shane and Lori who are all on the March for Life in Washington, DC. Monday will be given over to the cause of life. Thank God for Life on the Rock interviewing Gianna Jenson! Huzzah! Muchly looking forward to Monday's rehearsal. Am of several minds re: the end of Havana. Oh, for this particular stage of rehearsal! Hamlet DVD's have thus far eluded the curse of homemade DVD's - which means that I think I now know how to do them successfully. Did up two extras for Matchmaker before ever doing up the actual show (which I *hope* will be a fast edit): "Senior Thespian Farewell" and "Whale!" - the latter of which I'll post as soon as the shortened version (sans dress rehearsal's version) is up on Gaudete's channel.

    Mood: Erm
    Music: Evanescence's early stuff
    Prayer: Oh, Lord, for life! L'Chaim!
    Edited to embed: The whale scenes

    Saturday, January 20, 2007

    On the other side

    Who knew.

    So I had a session today with the wonderful gentleman who will be the accompanist at the vocal competition (in a few weeks), and I found that I was absolutely petrified. Not because of anything he did, or Tambre, or any particular vocal quality, or my low-voice dryness, or anything just...sheer nerves. Weeeeeird. It's been a while since I've been truly knee-knocking afraid at performance - even a working rehearsal like this. Of course, the accompaniment and the vocal line are completely different, which doesn't much help, but there one is. Alles gut, really. It's just odd to be on my actors' side and wanting to grab my director and say, "Am I any good? Am I OK?"

    But, of course, that's part of why we're doing this precious. Hoo boy.

    Mood: Shaken
    Music: Mental "I cannot tell what this love may be" (one of the pieces I'm doing)
    Mentally: Shaking fist as the heavens for non-doubled piano lines!

    Monday, January 15, 2007

    Hamlet DVD's Ready!

  • Pick-up at HCH available tomorrow from 12-3 (rehearsal) or during school hours. Includes over an hour of bonus video and a commentary track (so, that makes it, what?...technically four hours of extra goodies for you to procrastinate with?).

  • In other news, I'm gushing over Guys and Dolls to anyone who'll let me describe the blocking to them, which means that we're getting somewhere! Did I mention our cool lifts? Did I mention our weepy "Follow the Fold"? Did I mention the incredible realism of our Nathan and Adelaide? Did I mention an easily harmonizing Sky? Did I mention a chorus who are giving the leads a run for their money in upstaging? HA! Yes. Gush gush. Keep an eye out for me showing off tap dancing moves in our kitchen, and we know we've got ourselves a show!

  • Hwell, despite hopes for the Cloisters or the Isabella Stewart Gardiner Museum, Mums and I ended up going no further than the Olive Garden, Borders, and Jules and My Jaunt around the surrounding environs (Jules and My Jaunt fully protected under copyright law! ;P). But given the cold weather and the rain and the lack of lights in Massachusetts on any given highway, keeping to the Lands We Know was far preferable. Much needed. So good to be with Mom as Mom and not as theatre-y folk. Good, too, to build her up. Ich leibe mucho mucho meine Mumsicle. (And if that isn't mangled language for you, I don't know what is!)

  • Currently listening to Midaeval Babes and their Christmas CD which I picked up a few weeks ago and then forgot to listen to. The same fate awaits Loreena McKennit's newest CD, which I now own, and which will hopefully be listened to tomorrow! Huzzah! Muchly goodly music abounds! Now if only the same were true for books. I was browsing in Waldenbooks yesterday and poked about the fantasy section...and felt no urge to buy anything. Mom asked me if I was moving away from the fantasy genre, and I said, "No, because I keep thinking in fantasy plots" (when I work on my own books, etc. - or think about thinking about working on them), but rather I really cannot stand the lack of actual literature among those books. Fantasy above and beyond all others can be poetical - but I see nothing but rather plodding prose. And no plot so original among those hackneyed prose to tempt me. Booooo indeed. *grrrr*

  • Howsomever, I woke up this morning with a plot in my head (that must have hurt), or rather with the opening to a story (short? novella? novel?) that seems rather promising. The difficulty is that I need the time to daydream, wander and basically not write a lot. Quite a bit of writing is hitting sere quinking thietly. It's not a "do this now" sort of activity. It requires a lot of inactivity. Pencil tapping is a major part. Regardless, the opening paragraph and a bit.

    Alicia's father was handsome. And he knew it. How could he not? He was the king and knew well his christening blessings and regardless he had twenty-seven courtiers to remind him if he forgot. He was also widowed. And this, too, he knew. For he had laid his wife's body in the earth with his own hands and needed no courtiers to remind him that his bed was cold and empty. And he was young - and this he knew best of all, for he was fond of mirrors and ladies fond of him.

    And in his sorrow, and in his joy, he had forgotten his daughter.

    But this, he did not know.

    I think it'll then go on to talk about how fairy #6 or 7 blessed Alicia with a normal life, which so shocked the other fairies that, to make up for their sister's faux pas, they immediately each passed curses on her so that she would be assured of something happening in her life. One fairy will curse her with an overwhelming love for blueberry tart, which, when her sisters look askance of her, she'll reply with, "I panicked!" However, I think that'll mean that Alicia ends up falling in love with the baker's son. Dunno...I think it might be cute. Bring in the perennial evil stepmother.... Seems to be something rather Gail Carson Levine-y. Oh, for time!!!

  • Finally, a few things up on YouTube. The first is a comparison of how far (thus far) HCH Drama has come from Twelfth Night to Seven Ages. The second is a comparison of costume renderings to actuality in Hamlet. If I can find my other costume renderings, I might do up others for other shows. I had some great ones for Midsummer's, but they were lost. And I think I have some for Nutcracker, and I have a feeling I lost all of them for King of Fools. I have The Passion's, but I've no idea if it would be long enough to warrant a video. Ich weiss nicht. (Do I have Matchmaker's? Ich still weiss nicht.) Anywho, scroll down for the videos.

  • Recent thought: Evanescence's "Lithium" for a montage-y section of Romeo and Juliet? It's so going to be modernized, anyway.... I'd forgotten how good that song is.... And to finish as randomly as begun, huzzah for midterm week!

    Mood: Really really super bon
    Music: Medieval Babes - not to be confused with Opera Babes
    Thought: Life really is beautiful



  • Saturday, January 13, 2007

    Where Have You Gone and other lyrics

  • So, I've just come back from regionals (all the best singers/musicians from this region's schools) where one of my students sang and our trumpeter trumpeted and I'm in a velly velly velly composer-y mood. Although I didn't quite care for the jazz and wind ensemble's choices, the chorus and orchestral selections rekindled in me thoughts of musicianships and orchestrations and what can be done with really really talented folk. I've furthered Gerta's "Song of Searching (Where Have You Gone)" and discovered that Kay's "There is No Beauty" theme works nifty-freaky well in musicbox - particularly when it creepily segues into the Snow Queen's theme. I was playing a bit about with other bits for Snow Queen - we'll see. Frankly, if I want to really write these operas, I simply need to buckle down, make time, and get to work on them. (Puts on game face.)

  • Ooooh! Had adoration all yesterday with my classes (or at least radiation therapy, if not official adoration) and lingered after my last class for a little time alone with Him. So I was singing to Him (what else is new?) and it struck me that it might be hauntingly beautiful to hum "Silent Night" during the preparation for the Last Supper. Yes, precious!

  • In other random news, Worcester is apparently the place to be whistled at. Hurrah for cowboy hats. Everybody say it with Dolly Levi now: "Why Irene! Your store is simply crawling with men! I must come back here more often!" However, rodeo folk who leave nasty cigarette smell in the glass DCU elevator is not so nice. However singing Gerta's "Song of Searching" while going up in said glass elevator with the landscape of Worcester going past me vertically more than makes up for any olfactory inconvenience.

  • Mother has rererediscovered Dickens. She's currently reading Nicholas Nicholby and was reading out choice sentences and paragraphs to me. Good stuff, that! Really must get into Dickens. Le sigh for literature! And here's to (hopefully) the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum with Mums tomorrow after mass. It's not the Cloisters, but does not require a rental car. :)

  • Returning to music, apparently Loreena McKennit after ten years of audience deprivation! has a new album out! Huzzah! Must needs pick it up. Discovered said huzzahness at tech Saturday today where we painted more...and made bricks...and it looks sooooooooooooo fabooooooooooooooooo! I've had well-and-primarily painted sets in the past - Kiss Me, Kate, Pirates, even Matchmaker - but I've never really myself been in charge of a big multiple set painting project, and so am somewhat giddy over the wonderfulness with which it is progressing. And this, mes cheres et mesdemoiselles, is 100% due to the generosity of all the families involved in the show. I look back at Brigadoon (or even, shudder! Twelfth Night) and am so very aware of how far we've come due to generosity.

  • Am burning Hamlet DVD's now. Dem' whosever eyes you'd like, I'm done. So, we're burning. Rather like Edna St. Vincent Millay. (Pauses to go off and frolick in mental fields of flowers with thoughts of poetry and peonies.) And it is done. Gone. Hoopla.

    Mood: Music-y
    Music: (Now that's ironic) Live from Radio Sunnydale
    But soon to be: Ugly Betty episode I missed the other day. Yay for the wonders of technology.

  • Monday, January 08, 2007

    Yes indeedy

    If you want to see your costume rendering, keep an eye on this link.

    Mood: Sleepy
    Music: Alas and alack, mental "You're the One That I Want" from that detestable Grease due to watching the new reality series of the same name.
    Smugness is: Theatre folk are apparently nicer than dancer and singer folk. At least in the audition process. ;P
    Greatness is: Epiphany
    The fellow to the right is: The basic concept for Nathan Detroit

    Sunday, January 07, 2007

    Pachabel. Tee hee hee



    Mood: Sehr stra(h)nge
    Music: Regarde en haute because current CD has now been heard once too often
    Thought: Alas, I had a thought, but he got lonely and left

    Monday, January 01, 2007

    Fun with Photoshop

    New year, new show. Temp poster pre-publicity photos (official). Praise God for His mercy.



    It's curious. I had somehow, in my naivite, thought that perhaps I should simply avoid this sort of situation forever. Things would happen to other people, and I shouldn't ever become involved. I recall in high school writing that I stood always on the fringes of society - watching, but not being really involved. And now I find myself involved, drawn in (although not within, rather in but not of) and it seems as though the years stretch before me - terrible and unchartered and full of dangers. I sound more dour than I mean. I am being purposely obscure. It just is weighing on my mind that people do change, and not always for the better - and that our sole purpose here on earth is to reach Heaven and to bring others with us. Oh, but it is a long, long road. Praise God, praise God, praise God - now and forever, amen!

    Mood: Hadatchy
    Music: "Summer rain...leave all this misery behind!" from a song from The Last Kiss - good lyrics!
    Thought: Last night's party was very, very good. Happy day! Thank God for another new year. And happy feasts of the Holy Family and of our Lady! Wonderful mass yesterday. It was good to be with Him. I'm not enough.

    Happy New Year!

    And for the New Year...may I present, the Antelope Song and Tofulope Commercial!



    Mood: Pas mal
    Music: Mental Rufus Wainwright
    Thought: ...so, that was curious...