The sporadic ramblings of Emily C. A. Snyder - devoted to God, theatre, writing, and much randominity.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

Host: "Hamlet to Hamilton: Exploring Verse Drama" | Founder: TURN TO FLESH PRODUCTIONS | Author: "Cupid and Psyche" "Nachtsturm Castle" & Others | Caitlin O'Sullivan in "The Ghost Ship" (Boston Metaphysical Society)

Sunday, August 26, 2007

A reflection on love

From today's Magnificat reading, taken from the writings of Father Hans Urs von Balthasar.

  • "To allow oneself truly to be loved is more difficult than for oneself to love, and more humility is required. First of all, one is an object and not an autonomously acting subject, and hence one must have the humility to receive instead of to give. Then, too, a total and quite complex purification fo one's interior veraciy is necessary. Considerable time is required between the discovery that one can onself love and the discovery that one can truly be loved without one's lover being blinded by some illusion. It is easy to find oneself loveworthy with arrogance; but this does not satisfy a person who is loved and does not want to hide any part of his truth from the person loving him.... In the end, all true love is not blind: it alone really sees, but, seeing, it overlooks and thus banishes guilt from the world. Therefore, let others love in you the good things God has given you and do not deprive love of its nourishment."


  • Some random thoughts pertaining - either directly or indirectly to this.

  • Question: is R&J just about discovering the capacity to love, or does it also allow for the acceptance of love?

  • Fr. Kevin Cronin, OFM, who we all deeply loved back in NJ, once told my Mom that it was very difficult for him to accept love or affection from others. At the time (grade school), I didn't understand that. It seemed very odd. I do now. It's this odd shyness, this strange fear. Which is part of why, I think, we were commanded to be more like little children.

    Little children simply expect that they are loved and that others desire to love them and that this is as it is. And this is how it is meant to be. And as we get older or jaded or worn or battle-weary we forget what the world is and instead we get blinded by the frightening illusions that the enemy constructs. We get caught up in perspective and monocular vision and seeing so hard through things that, as Lewis reminds us, we see nothing at all. Whereas a child who saw an impossible thing in front of them would simply see it and accept it and most likely try to take it home as a pet and love it.

    I think we need to return to seeing things in front of us, and not keep searching for something that really isn't there. Love is before us. (*grins* as she thinks of Chesterton's passage on "God is Love." Ah, philosophers!)

  • To that end: la la la.

    Mood: Flitting like a hawk held by jesses
    Music: "Trying" from Lifehouse a la R&J Soundtrack
    Forthcoming: A theatre rant. It's been a while.

  • Friday, August 24, 2007

    Miffed

    In Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado, there's a song from the Lord High Executioner (boot-to-the-head!) called "I've got a little list" about folk who ought to be executed - folk who make you miffed. It's traditional to play with the lyrics depending on who the audience is. Well, just now, I've got a little list. It's a very little list.

  • As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
    I've got a little list - I've got a little list
    Of society offenders who might well be underground,
    And who never would be missed - who never would be missed!


    There's the pestilential nuisances who call to set a date
    For a meeting or a lesson, and who show up hours late
    And who interrupts your schedule
    For appointments that they'll miss
    Yes, I've got them on my list - and they'll none of them be missed!

    Or those demmed infernal people who wake at the crack of dawn
    Who fill their mugs with coffee and set out to mow the lawn
    Outside your bedroom window, despite curtains clearly drawn
    Yes, I've got them on the list - I've got them on the list

    Then there's the staple of our nation: the useless bureaucrat
    Who charges you for this and then charges you for that
    But who forgets to make a note of it upon his little list?!
    Oh, he never will be missed - no, they'll none of them be missed!


  • And there's my rhymes for the morning. This inexplicably boooo-unexpected-room-of-evil morning. C'est ca. Irritating nuisances, but little more. However, worthy of a verse or two!

    Mood: Considerably uplifted by "write your own G&S"-ism
    Music: Was R&J (what else these days?)
    What else: OK, well it might have been the Crimson Pirates. In fact, I think it will be the Crimson Pirates! It shall be their third album, "Putrid and Disgusting"! Ha!
    Wishing: Broken legs to Alina tonight, and mucho calls from Krissytina this weekend, and for Emerson's right hand to know what its left hand is doing, and for folks to keep their word, and....
    FOR CAPTIONS! To this photo from Much Ado that is much in need of a title of an awful book that this picture might grace. Put in combox or over on le face de la book (or directly here).

    Tuesday, August 21, 2007

    New Videos

    ETA: Whole of Pooh available now. Three weeks and counting - oh, God.







    Mood: Confused - slightly surly, slightly not
    Music: R&J soundtrack
    Thought: Well, at least I've got two more bridges and the last (?) verse of my anti-Cinderella song. Lyrics below. Imagine the Evanescence sort of sound.

  • Strike of midnight
    Golden beauty
    Running up the steps
    She just ran down before

    O, these slippers
    Cut into me
    And I'm bleeding from
    A hundred wounds
    Once more

    She came a little late
    And found him in the
    Arms of someone
    Else, well,
    She can wait
    Until the bells ring

    One, two, three, four
    Five, six, seven, eight
    Nine, ten
    Eleven....

    Strike of midnight
    Old enchantments
    Are unravelling in
    Grey tatters to
    The floor

    Still these slippers
    Cut into me
    And I fear that I
    Will love, never
    No more

    Time's a fickle thing
    He coughs when you would kiss
    And then again,
    Remembering
    He lengthens time
    Like this:

    One, two, (etc.)

    Strike of midnight
    Skies are falling
    Into scattered stars
    Upon the fields
    Of grass

    And these slippers?
    Left behind me
    In the shards of
    Broken time and
    Shattered glass

    Run and hide you
    Masqueraders
    Seek and find but
    You're too late for

    Spells and magic
    Have no power
    If you're late by
    Half an hour

    Last bit insert here

    Once, two (etc.)

  • Monday, August 20, 2007

    Editing Pooh

    Pooh is joy. La la.



    Mood: Tiddley Pom
    Music: Let's just say, completely opposite to Pooh.
    Thought: I'd like to do a Tiddley Pom thingummy next. Yes. Very true, Pooh.

    Perspective

    I'm reminded of the faaaahbulous Anton Ego in Ratatouille as he answers, when asked what he wants to order that evenings, "Perspective." Tee hee hee and le sigh. Good movie.

    So, last night, I downloaded one version of Much Ado that I had to return to its owner today, and since I had nothing else to do whilst it downloaded, I put myself to the task of organizing by year/show/angle/etc. the videos of my shows. And then these boxes went into larger boxes which were labelled so: 1999-2004, 2004-2006, 2006. 2007 is in its own box.

    Holy cow! I exclaimed (silently) to myself. And then I decided to tally what I had done between those years. No wonder I'd been stressed. It's one thing to say, "17 shows in the past five years" - it's another to see the physical proof of those shows. Add to that the unceremonious and egregious treatment at the hands of a certain establishment, and it's no wonder the bags under my eyes have got bags - and those bags are toting Pradas. To whit:

  • 1998-2000: 2 shows (directed), 1 original; performed in 3 shows, various scene work (directed & performed); graduated FUS

  • 2000-2002: 1 show (directed), 1 musical 425 kids, various choruses, pageants, etc., ran preliminary theatre school 3 sessions w/ performance; 1 year teaching K-8

  • 2002-2005: 9 shows (directed), 4 originals (1 repeat), 2 Shakespeares, 5 musicals (2 operas), various choruses, talent shows, pageants, excursions, etc.; performed 1 show; closed theatre school after 2002 performance; began teaching high school & voice

  • 2005-2007: 8 shows (directed), 2 originals (1 repeated), 2 Shakespeares (one Hamlet), 1 ballet, 1 musical, various choruses, pageants, etc.; took voice as well; taught high school and finished; FOUNDED GAUDETE

    So, am/was I tired? You bet your bare bodkin. And stressed? Well, thanks to May 10th and that ridiculous, just a wee bit, aye. But it's good to put these things in perspective.

    And now that that bit of naval gazing is done (I can never see that phrase but I think either of oranges or sailors), a bit about the RenFest. So Pete and I got up at (for us) a ridiculously early hour, bundled ourselves together - he in black with the cape Jules made for him and his double swords, me in black with the dress Jules made for me and the bodice she bought for me - and set off through the Berkshires and the Catskills to Sterling Forest where we had us a grand time.

    We were just in time for my favorite sea chanty group, the Crimson Pirates who, joy of joys, have a fourth album out. Huzzah! Wandered about a bit, visiting shops and gracefully getting out of them when each one proved waaay too expensive, and then hopped on over to catch Midsummer Night's Dream which was the shortest version I'd ever seen (my ear kept feeling like the record was jumping) but which was much fun. After that it was more wandering, an OK magic show, eating crepes and sausages, watching various minstrels, dancers, and more minstrels, drooling over costumes, and finally heading on home through the Catskills and the Berkshires. Nicely nicely day.

    Amusingly, the Faire is 30 years old this year, and I remember going to it (yikes!) 20 years ago for my 10th birthday - one of the highlights of our first year in New Jersey. There are embarrassing pictures somewhere of me absolutely falling in love with the lady playing Maid Marian that year. She had on this velvet green dress - oooooh, so pretty. And she taught me how to curtsey. That's the sort of thing a girl can coast on for years. It's as good as unicorns.

    And now it's time for voice lessons, so I'll wander away from Memory Lane (which is a real lane in our town and is, ironically - as Jules points out - a dead end). Ta!

    Mood: Mieux
    Music: Was the R&J soundtrack
    Thought: These fuzzy slippers aren't kidding

  • Wednesday, August 15, 2007

    How To Make An Emily Relax

    1) Finish Much Ado About Nothing with Gaudete Academy

    2) Send her to the cast party, where she is heartily entertained by auctions, good food, and better company, theatre games and best of all quietish time 'til 2 a.m.

    3) Then send her to the after after party (aka riding around with Jules) for much-needed sisterly bonding

    Note: At this point, your Emily should be working on the stage past fumes, past riding on empty - she will be in negative points, pulled into her own swirling black vortex and going strong...or at least, *going*

    4) Then allow your Emily to simmer for many many lots hours in sleep

    Note: Please realize that it is wholly typical for an Emily at this point to still be having theatre dreams. Do not be alarmed.

    5) For best results, add in several unexpected but wholly delightful drop-by guests. If your Emily grumbles, send them with returned theatre stuff.

    6) It is advisable, at this juncture, to add in a steady supply of stupid TV shows and repetitive video games, such as Mah Jong and Othello. (Emily will like the latter for the Shakespearean overtones.)

    7) Allow your Emily to sleep and rise once again. (Dreams should be less apparent.)

    8) Send your Emily to a movie with her Father. For best results, make the movie the wholly wonderful "Stardust" and make the day Free Popcorn Tuesday.

    9) Your Emily will now be coming to a slow simmer of desire for theatre (this desire is proportional to the number of days she has Not Done Theatre) - despite her sentiments to "never see a procenium arch again for as long as she lived" a mere twenty-four hours earlier. (This statement is merely a sure sign that the previous play version of your Emily is nearing the end of her lifespan and phoenix-like will rise up anew soon enough.)

    10) At this point, send your Emily to a Borders with money enough in her pocket and an Arden edition of Romeo and Juliet on the shelves, a ready pencil for editing the script, a large hot chocolate and warm blueberry muffin. Leave your Emily approximately an hour in this happy state before luring her home for a family dinner of chicken marsala.

    11) Allow your Emily to marinate for a while in the newly-purchased super DVD version of Kenneth Branaugh's Hamlet...WITH COMMENTARY!!!...before sending her off to untroubled sleep.

    12) Wake your Emily long enough to send her into Boston to drop off her Julie at the airport, get lost in Boston, and find her way back to the Turnpike regardless.

    13) Send your Emily back for one last sleep.

    14) And wake her at an obscenely late afternoon hour, with the prospect of the "So You Think You Can Dance" finale and evening Mass!

    It's weird but wonderful to be on vacation.

    Mood: Weird but wonderful
    Music: "White Houses" for no particular reason
    Thought: Actually, there was a moment of sheer terror this morning around 7 a.m. when I realized that I'd be coming to Boston nearly every day and what am I doing and who thought this was a good idea and where's my safety net and...oh the joys of thought. Pooh.

    ETA: So, the dream. All I remember was that I was "back" at whatever school/summer camp/theatre things with whomever had taken over after me - only whomever had taken over still was directing even the college kids. They were doing Midsummer Night's Dream in a very post-modern all-white Stanley Kubrick-ian looking theatre in the round, with these Mother Earth Goddess Weird Overtones. You know, "Cellophane! Nothing but cellophane!"

    Anywho, so I was kind of watching one of the run throughs - all I remember for casting was Ryan was Oberon and the director was telling him to "act like a wolf" which he apparently took as "lounge on the floor and look vaguely disinterested" - and all the actors were asking me what I thought of the production. I hedged a bit and told them it was "pretty good" and "very interesting" and they bugged me for what I really thought, and I threw my hands in the air and stage-whispered, "Oh, it's awful! OK, but if you do this and this, that part won't be as bad but..." because I knew that no matter what I did, the fundamentals were just stupid and there was no saving the show.

    And then I woke up. Oh, play dreams.

    Monday, August 13, 2007

    For the Seniors



    Mood: Contemplative
    Music: None
    Thought: "It is finished."

    Thursday, August 09, 2007

    Much Ado

    Come out to see Much Ado About Nothing!

    For more information click here.
    For the Worcester Telegram & Gazette article, click here.



    Performances Friday, August 10 - 7 p.m.
    Saturday, August 11 - 2 p.m. & 7 p.m.


    Marlborough Middle School
    25 Union Street, Marlborough, MA 01752

    Tickets sold only at the door:
    $10/adults, $7 students & seniors


    Mood: Half hour to dress
    Music: "White Houses" - not really soothing, huh
    Prayer: Oh God! Amen!

    Wednesday, August 01, 2007

    Spiritual Bouquet

    "You are suffering, it is true, but with resignation. Fear not because God is with you. You do not offend Him but love Him. You suffer, but believe also that Jesus Himself suffers in you and for you."
    ~ Meditation by Padre Pio

    Mood: Regarde en haute. Je lis les meditations de plus. Merci pour cette grace.
    Music: "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne
    Above gotten from: EWTN