Off to commune with hot chocolate

A la either Borders or Barnes and Noble's respective cafe's (me, a cafe, paper and pen - yes), but caught this which made me smile: Spider-Man 3 trailer. Oh. Yeah.

Mood: Meh
Music: "Desert Rose" by Sting
Thought: Except...my life.

Wiktorie!

I finally figured out why every time I tried to make the MSND DVD (or the bonus features) it was going all wonky: the interior DVD burner is on the fritz. But that's OK! My external super-powered DVD burner is still super-powered and fantabulous! Mass production will commence! Hurrah!

Now, off to lector. Then back to block, clean, and burn DVD's.

Mood: Bof
Music: "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morisette drifting down from Jules' room above
Thought: How curious that, in having a day off, I felt more useless than a full day like today. Huh.

It's like the day when

I passed by the Blessed Sacrament Chapel in Tommy More and He put the conviction of joining Bellwether in my heart. Lord - if it is Your Will, give me strength, joy, peace and more than all these fortitude - lots and lots of fortitude. Lord, how do I do this? Please open the doors. Amen.

Your Spirituality Type: PATH OF INTELLECT
(Thomistic prayer)
(from Vision Guide magazine)

About 12 percent of the population follows this path, using the syllogistic method of Saint Thomas Aquinas known as Scholastic prayer.

The main emphasis is on the orderly progression of thought from cause to effect. People of this prayer type prefer neat, orderly forms of the spiritual life, as opposed to the free-spirit, impulsive attitude of the Franciscan approach. Their spirituality is centered on the earnest pursuit of all the transcendental values: truth, goodness, beauty, unity, love, life, and spirit. Like Saint Teresa of Avila, they are willing to exert superhuman effort to achieve their goal.

Because of their disdain for second best, they seek total truth and authenticity in their lives and work hard to reach the whole truth about themselves, about God, and about sanctity. This intense pursuit of truth colors their whole spiritual life.

Books of prayer frequently call the Thomistic method of prayer 'discursive meditation.' In this type of prayer, one takes a virtue or fault or theological truth and studied it from every possible angle. Change of behavior is an essential part of this prayer--it doesn't stay at the intellectual level. There is generally a bias against this type of prayer today because it was so much in vogue before Vatican II.

Mood: Celestially militant
Music: Bizarrely "Jumpin' Jumpin" - don't ask
Feast: SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST!!! Boo-YEAH!
Latest Book: The good parts section of Mother Angelica's biography. Right now I'm at the Denver World Youth Day, which I actually remember watching - I saw that abhominable "Passion" and I saw Mother Angelica standing up afterwards for Our Lord. Alleluia! YES!

Who had fun

Making up onesheets for the various plays that've been done? Check them out on the sidebar to the left. Click on a link to enlarge.

Mood: I'm free tomorrow! No obligations! Maniacal fits of hysterical glee!
Music: Fittingly "I Hear the Bells" from the Happy Hamlet Warm-Up CD
Thought: Huh. That thar's a few plays....

Two true things

Today's quote from Mother Angelica's biography:

Some people say I am a woman of great faith. I'm really a coward who keeps moving forward.

And this:

You Are 52% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

Oh, and that prayer and the Sacred Heart make all the difference. Because, even when you feel like completely throwing in the towel, when you're simply exhausted and bored and frustrated and a welter of needless anxiety and sudden wanderlust, when you feel so far from the saints and the angels, when you feel far from all love including self-love, when all you can see are the errors of your every small and mean thought - even so, you crack Magnificat, peek at Paul's letter to the Romans, and...

...the grace pours in. O Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!

Mood: Complicated
Music: Johnny playing "God of Wonders" on the guitar upstairs
Goodness and Grace are: Sufficient to get through joyfully five hours of teaching/rehearsal and an upcoming five doing trailer checks.
Also useful is: Tom Petty's "It'll All Work Out."
And because no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! I swear, I thought when I pressed the "I'd put on my own variety show" to "What would you do if you suddenly had to entertain an audience" I'd get Kermit. I'd no idea who I'd get when I answered that I was most likely to say: "Ladies and gentlemen, there's nothing to worry about, but please keep your head down" but it seemed like something I'd definitely say!

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

OK, OK, one more for the road: Oh, happy day! Yes, yes - but let's go to the Southern part of Ireland, eh?

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

And just for the "awwwww" factor: Pretty spot on, actually. Impressed.

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Oddish

Le sigh. I forgot that with a new computer comes an FTP-less machine. And when one tries to re-download etc. everything goes kaplooey. Or rather, doesn't go at all. My hostsite says that I have TONS of free space to use - but doesn't let me use it. Oy! What's up with that? Grrrr. So, from God-bless-Photobucket, the current image for (what else?) Hamlet. Now going to sleep. I'm ridicklwackle. Oh God. Amen.



Mood: Odd tummy
Music: Nada
Thought: Photoshop is amazing. FTP isn't.

Wow. Awesome quote

We need more people like Ghandi - willing to do what is right, especially when it's difficult. As gacked from Amy Welborn.

Once, in a debate with a birth control advocate, his opponent asked Gandhi whether he would advocate artificial birth control in specific cases where the health of the mother might be at risk. His reply? “No. One exception will lead to another till it finally becomes general.” Instead, Gandhi recommends that in these rare situations couples live apart if they are truly incapable of continence—a situation he was not ever willing to concede lightly. This statement was typical of Gandhi’s approach to these hard cases. “A wise judge will not give the wrong decision in the face of a hard case. He will allow himself to appear to have hardened his heart, because he knows that truest mercy lies in not making a bad law.”

Mood: Still bon, merci
Music: Still James Blunt - tickled pink that he can weave Dorian Grey into his lyrics. Hoopla!
Thought: Huh. Dorien Grey.... Play? Opera? That might be fun....

O, Happy Day!

(I do say that a lot, don't I?...)

Anywho, absolutely brilliant rehearsal last night - which oughtn't have been, since I prepped for the scenes we were supposed to do and then found out that the key character who was in those scenes I blocked couldn't make rehearsal, so some of it was on-the-spot work - but it was particularly blessed. Thank You, God! Some of the highlights include: character work, blocking from "And now my cousin Hamlet and my son" through to just before "O that this too too sullied flesh", and then doing the Polonius/Hamlet hysterical "mad" scene ("Words, words, words").

Oh, HAPPY day!!! Absolutely reproven to me was that this is 110% His production and not mine. Oh, happy day that my actors are amazing. Oh, happy day that my stage managers are so efficient and willing to block and videotape, oh happy day for impromptu audience - and for a return to fun with the whole affair. See? See! I told you Hamlet wasn't gloomy!

Sooooooooooooooooo looking forward to the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern scenes tonight, can't begin to express it. See, this is why I love theatre. It's life, it's blood, it's the ineffable made incarnate, it's cosmic stakes on the terrestrial plane, it's all, it's everything. And it is very, very good.

In other news, had a good meeting this morning. We're all set from our end anyway for Guys and Dolls in March (I have to laugh that we're at the wonderful point, and have been for some time, of planning out seasons far, far in advance - happy day! *grins maniacally and then Hamlet-like traipses around with a script on her scalp*), and we've decided on a one-act festival for November - which should be a pure profit-maker. Good, good, good. Am planning to do Sure Thing if nothing else. Must look into some other one-acts. This is a Test is always a crowd-pleaser, although I don't know if I want to do it having seen it a few times now. The Actor's Nightmare might be too esoteric for the audience. Of course, I could look up the five-minute Hamlet - that might be amusing. Playing with the idea of jotting down something myself.... And of course we can have little dances or sketches (Monty Python, here we come!) or songs intersperced to make it worth the ticket price. Must needs find a common theme.... Oh, Emily. Honestly. But it'll be fun to do a chamber theatre piece. Ooooh! I forgot! We could do the Macbeth Murder Mystery! Tra la!

A workaholic's job is never done? Huh. That's redundant.

Mood: Spiffy
Music: James Blunt Back to Bedlam as lent by Ryan
Feast Days: Today - St. Thomas More!!!
Tomorrow - The Sacred Heart of Jesus!!!!!
Saturday - The Birth of John the Baptist!!!!!!!
Sunday - O HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!

Recoup

Things that help one recoup in no particular order: talks with Jules, more talks with Jules whilst indulging in Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, the first three discs of Buffy: Season 2 (aka, something that has nothing to do with anything I'm doing - complete escapist fantasy), reading Mother Angelica's biography, and especially this quote:

The Master's Workshop. We don't know what we're doing - but we're getting good at it!

I'm going to take that as my life's quote! And of course sleep. And prayer. And more sleep. And prayer. And counting blessings instead of sheep.

Mood: Significantly improved
Music: "Cat's in the Cradle"
Thought: Wow, iTunes is addictive...but wow, such great 80's and 90's music!

Good Quote

From Mother Angelica:

"We use the talents we possess to the best of our ability and leave the results to God We are at peace in the knowledge that He is pleased with our efforts and that His providence will take care of the fruit of those efforts."

Mood: Reeeeeeeeeeally infuriated because Dad's timing is.... OK, God. Amen.
Music: None
Thought: OK, God, purify my heart. Amen. And bless those fridge guys and send them at a proper time because right now, being awake when they're not even here is making for one cranky Emily. But thank You for the quote. Amen.

Ho Hick

As Mom would say. Throat worked well enough for voice lesson through to our first official rehearsal, and then DIED as soon as my jobs were completed. So now I sit here with giant golfballs for glands and feeling all sorts of return to blaugh-throat-y. Le sigh. Thank You, though, God for giving me what I needed to get through the day. (And the classroom nearly ALL finished! Hurrah!)

Interview tomorrow - another God-incident. 1 p.m. at Starbucks - crazykool. Thank You God for that as well. There art thou happy! And we did get through everything at rehearsal despite my concerns that we might be biting off more than we could chew. There was the usual daunting at the sheer verse - and I felt a little stupid for forgetting that not all of it was obvious verse - but we'll get through. Beginnings of shows are always a little weird. The last show is still too much in the brain. But all shall be well. However, perhaps a gibberish exercise is needed to make my point....

Mood: Ugh. The throat.
Music: Kids in America from the latest playlist
Goodness is: Hopefully seeing K. in a few weekends!

God's sense of humour

Continues to be not in the least funny, but absolutely spot-on. So, last night, right after giving me time enough this week to audition, cast, read and watch-through, I'm struck around 12:30 a.m. with a massive fever - shakes, chills, sweats, the works. Enough that I toss and turn all night, wake at 8 a.m. with the fever broken, sleep for another four hours, cancel voice lessons, and maunder about the house, mostly devouring Me and Shakespeare (which is more memoire and less Shakespeare than I should like). I'd meant to go in this morning to finish cleaning out my classroom, but considering everything that wasn't going to happen. Ah ca. Once again the Hand of God clutching me in enforced relaxation. I'm grateful, and I'm smiling (through the kleenex) but I'm also laughing and rolling my eyes at Him. Ridiculous, I say. He replies: The same.

Mood: Improving. Far better than last night!
Music: None at the moment. Pete and Tristan in the next room video gaming.
Latest Hamlet Thoughts: Centering around the play within the play....

Does dance of joy

I'm doing Hamlet I'm doing Hamlet I'm doing HaaaaaaaaaamLET! Tra la tra la tra la fa la ner ner ner la lay li loh looooooooooooooooooooo!

*bows*

Mood: Clogging my way through life!
Music: Poss. either Moulin Rouge movie as I finish quarter grades putting in, or other
Thought: There's a smile on my face for the whole human race why it's...almost like doing Hamlet! Or being in love. Take your pick. BOO yeah!

It's so totally unfair

That I get so nervous before auditions I'm holding! Oy! Final grades are recorded; quarter grades just need to be tallied; off in a bit to audition (others); good golly....

Mood: Well, if the three-times as fast playing of Fur Elise is any indication...!
Music: Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Thought: Rather than "nothing really matters," perhaps "what's left to lose, you've done enough, and if you failed well then you've failed but you gave it a shot."

In view of auditions

It seems appropriate to repost this. But also, methinks, to expand from the conversation I had with Johnny yesterday. I'll try to break it up a bit with headings, but herein follows my continuing dissertation on casting, auditions, parts and actors.

Of Plays and Playwrights

Most plays are written with two sets of main characters: lead and supporting (or character) roles. Intersperced are various other roles that tend to fall into faceless or other character roles. To take an upcoming example, let's look at Guys an Dolls. The lead roles are Sky Masterson (our protagonist) and Sally Brown (our protagonist's romantic interest and in this case - in a nice Pride and Prejudice twist our antagonist). The character roles are Nathan Detroit (our catalyst) and his 14-year fiancee Adelaide (Nathan's romantic interest and antagonist). Peppered throughout are some faceless characters (mostly, alas, the Hotbox Girls) as well as some great character roles (Nicely-Nicely, Big Jules, Uncle Arvid, etc.).

Now, ideally, the lead characters go through some sort of character arc. In Guys and Dolls they do. In Matchmaker we had to play it as if Dolly and Horace somehow change, but it's not written in. Hamlet changes several times. However, quite a few plays/movies, etc. don't really allow the lead actor to have much in the way of roundness much less self-revelation, so the play leaves the interest of the play totally in the charisma of the actors.

The character actor roles, however, are more often the comedic roles (even in a comedy). They're slightly outlandish, they must have a great sense of timing, and often they're truly enjoying themselves within the play. How many times have we gone to see a romantic comedy or the latest action flick and the only thing bearable about it were the character actors? The wacky sidekicks, the quirky neighbors, the loony best friends? However, unless the play is really, really well written, these poor character actors are frequently given roles with little to no character arc - either because the author didn't want to upstage his flat lead characters, or because the character roles have already had their emotional journal previous to the start of our action and are now along for the ride. Again, a great play allows character roles to also have parallel character arcs, but this is not always possible.

As for the tertiary and so on roles, whether these shine or not depends almost entirely upon whether a good character actor has been cast or not. Lead actors frequently do nothing with them, unless they've been sufficiently trained in "bit character parts" or unless specifically directed to do something with the role. But a good character actor will simply make up a whole life for the filler role. Of course, if the role is well written, it will almost play itself - still a good character actor will flesh it out best.

Of Acting

We say that a good actor loses himself in the role, and this is in part true, but honestly, it's more that actors bring out bits of themselves - bits that they as a person are capable of but which they may or may not allow themselves in real life - and they play that. So, I think it's safe to say that every actor plays a version of himself. The difference between a good actor and a mediocre actor then is a) to what extent he's willing to learn new facets of his potential personality and allow them out on stage and b) what facets he is actually capable of. Both may be slightly subject to time, to age. The actor who is emotionally immature will not be as capable of bringing forth various controlled characteristics as the mature actor.

But what then marks a difference between a character and lead actor? I'd say that the lead actor has a mark about him of everymanness while the character actor has the capability to be everyothermanness. The lead tends to speak to our soul while the character speaks of our neighbour. We identify with the lead; we are surprised by the character.

However, many of our Hollywood lead actors rely entirely upon the image they've built up of themselves - upon their personality schtick - to draw folk into their shows. They don't attempt to bring forth new parts of their everymanness but they play the role they've assigned themselves in what passes for real life for a "supserstar." The character actors, in Hollywood anyway, are therefore frequently the folk who are more willing to keep their personal lives quiet, and to do everything possible to disguise themselves within the role. (Which is why, of course, those fellows are the ones who everyone says: "Oh, that's...um...man I've seen him in everything!" AKA - they may not be known for what they had for breakfast that day or who they're dating, but they get consistent work.)

Of course, that oughtn't be the difference between the two, because it makes everyone want to be a lead merely for the fame, and it makes for bad leads when they could be better trained to really tap into their emotional core. Whether one tends to be better suited for one or the other oughtn't impede training. Never trade training for looks!

On Casting

When putting together a show, one is looking for who fits which part best. Although, certainly, looks may have more or less to do with the part - i.e., one doesn't want to make some of the grave mistakes I've seen which simply render the play ridiculous: such as a 6-foot Amazon playing a woman dying of consumption (ha!), or a 5-foot nothing mouse of a man attempting to lift up a dying 6-foot-round Lucia di Lamamoor (ouch!), or a cadaverous Giselle who looks like all she needs is one good meal to stay alive for Act II - and while certain forms of plays will necessitate more emphasis on looks in re: pairing - such as in ballets, where since we're watching bodies in motion, you want partners for pas-de-deux to not only be excellent dancers but also to look very handsome together - of even greater importance is whether an actor clicks with a role, and whether he is the only one who can bring that role to life.

(A note for the English impaired: obviously, when I'm using the pronoun "he" I'm doing so as an unspecified gender. Right. Grammar over.)

Now, sometimes there are several people who can play the straight man "everyman" lead role. Great. So then what sets one person apart from others? Well, frequently it comes down to (in no particular order) a) craft and technique - can the actor speak the lines clearly and intelligently, does he make interesting choices with the lines, does he make the meaning clear, can he change tactics at a drop of the hat, etc. etc.; b) charisma - does he pull the audience in, do we want to watch him for the greater part of the play?; c) chemistry - does he pull the best out of his fellow actors, is there that necessary spark between himself and his romantic interest?

As for the character actors it comes down to similar questions: a) craft and technique - can he speak the lines clearly and intelligently, can he bring some sort of trick to saying the lines such as an accent, a peculiar character tick, a humour, a villanry, what spin does he put on the character that makes the character come alive and which only this actor can bring to the role?; b) charisma - is his very appearance cause for a settling into the seat to watch a consummate performer play with a role, does his arrival elicit laughter or gasps of fear?; c) chemistry - does he play well with others, is he happy in the role he's best suited for, will he upstage everyone with his clowning or does he know when to play it straight and when to show off?

Frequently - or at least so I've found of late - one has an embarrassment of riches with various actors, particularly actresses, and in such a situation casting comes down almost entirely to chemistry - who does she click with best?

One thing I particularly dislike is giving out the cast list. There's no good way to do it. Most theatres simply don't care about how an actor feels, but I suppose I'm a wuss and I do. Professional theatres simply call those folk they do plan to offer jobs to, and those who they do not plan to use will not hear back at all. Some local community theatres will give calls to everyone offering roles or thanking folk for auditioning. Most other theatres simply post cast lists and leave folk to weep at their own leisure - or make nasty comments. Since the latter happened two years ago, I've since tried to find a different method. We've given out cards which went OK. We've read the list from the bottom up which means that people stew in their sorrow without giving happiness to those who finally landed a major role. We could read from the bottom down, but then as your name isn't called and isn't called you stew and the same occurs. I wish I had the heart to be callous. Regardless, I think this time we're going to read according to the actor's first name in alphabetical order. And I'll remind everyone that in the real world - heck, in the world just a step outside our door - no one holds an actor's hand quite as much as here. So grow some tough skin and be joyful and remember that it's not about you at all - the play really is the thing.

Mood: Have an appt. with St. Luke's in just a few - wish me luck!
Music: Was VM until the CD ran out
Thought: Have I mentioned I seriously need a new chair? Sigh. Grading looms.

Literary vs. Practical

Huh. Just ran across, whilst researching, my own essay on Kierkegaard's Sickness unto Death and Hamlet.

It's curious to read it (not too badly written, although I'd forgotten the definition of dialectical), but curiouser still to see that while I can appreciate my old sentiments on a purely literary level, on a practical level I can't support them. My analysis of Hamlet at that time led me, when I directed the infamous soliloquy through to the nunnery scene, to inaction in my blocking - which is, of course, the very opposite of blocking. And, frankly, although one may have a thousand various views on Hamlet as a piece of literature - and may, indeed, have a thousand good reasons for each view - when it comes to putting it on the stage, all the criticisms about inaction and indecision and real madness ought to be simply thrown out the window, for the very simple fact that they ruin the play. We don't come to the theatre to see someone dotter about, and we're not interested in someone who's abandoned free will, and frankly someone who's even so dour that they're suicidal without being even remotely Eeyorish sweet simply makes for bad theatre. Hope and mirth - that's the thing. Hamlet the actor can't be bound to inaction - we come to theatre not only for our own escape but to watch another escape the confines of this "goodly ward" as well. Apotheosis. Yup.

Mood: Finger-drumming iiiiiiiiiiiiiimPATIENT!
Music: Surprisingly none
Thought: We needs a better chair, precious! And thank you, God, for everything tonight. Thank You, thank You, thank You. Amen.

Let Be

Happiness is: Emperor Palpatine: Worst Boss Ever and Ryan vs. Dorkman (a Star Wars battle - very good).

Goodness is: a walk round the block at sunset, watching Monty Python with Mom and Peter, chocolate chip cookies and porkchops (not in that order), and knowing that Uncle John's got my back. God bless your soul, Uncle John, amen!

Strangeness is: these past few weeks, the upcoming weeks, the waiting, the unknowing, the anticipation, the impatience - surreal reality.

Answers are: seeing Jules even if briefly, long talks with a good friend unexpectedly, great discourses with wonderful students.

Frustration is: envy and stupidity, the constant need for charity, and the certain need for grace. So, I suppose, frustration with the self which requires greater patience and perseverence more than anything.

Mood: Cryptic, a word which here means enigmatic
Music: VM in a second
Thought: I am in serious need of a better chair. I mean, dude.

Sunday Night

I miss my sister.

Mood: Pentecost, hurrah!
Music: KOF whilst I clean, work, blog, etc.
Thought: Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules