Hmmm, weird new layout
 
For posting a blog.  Not bad, just unexpected.
 
Jules' diary is locked.  Hrm.  Two voice lesson students didn't come today - hope all's well.  "Lite" Tuna is tuna paste and horrid.  Paycheck came - alleluia!  Bills can be paid.  Hanging with Jills tonight - is good.  And prayers work, God is able, and forgiveness and accord can be found.  Praise God!
 
Howsomever, it's been an odd sort of week - possibly an odd sort of month.  I feel very...at loose ends, like a marionette waiting for performance, or that strange in-between sensation of sitting at a bus station, accompanied by little else but grime.  I've been watching cars lately - or rather the people in them - and anyone I see actually outside our little cocoon houses - and thinking to myself: "The day doesn't change.  The day doesn't have feelings, or a label on it that says: you must hurry and fret, because it is the xth day of y month."  There are others passing me to whom today is lazy, expectant, sorrowful, joyful - emotions that I do not currently possess.  But there is no cosmic mandate that I must feel a certain way on a certain day - and it's helpful to look at mothers walking along with their children, on their way to no where from no where in particular, perhaps simply out to gather wildflowers or discover new kinds of frogs.  While I - zip zip zip - in my teeny, all-but-falling apart car - full of "needless anxiety" - which the priest prays we will be released from when we say the Our Father at Mass.
 
I did get myself over to adoration yesterday, or rather not adoration in exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, but rather simply sneaking into St. Mary's (good to know the code to the back door), and then down to the tabernacle in the lower church (they've removed Him from the upper church, already! :( - sigh).  I wanted to be alone so I could sing to Him.  I find I pray best when I sing.  And it was good.  Now, Lord, I need a continuance of those graces!  I'm such a foolish, weak, cowardly little thing!  I need Your strength and fortitude.  Amen!
 
And here I must zip again - to the bank - then back - then out - then back: a human yo-yo, boomerang, bungee.  Throw me and I come back to You!  And miles to go before I sleep...and miles to go before I sleep....
 
Mood: Disconnected
Music: None, my fingernails scrabbling over plastic keys
Thought: And so it goes, and so it goes....