Why is the word "palindrome"...

...not itself a palindrome? And what would palindromic music sound like? Unless it sounds an awful lot like a Bach fugue or any piece by Philip Glass. Which is to say, one can play it backwards with no change in sound.

My brother, Peter, gave me this great excuse for not going into school. Rather than calling in sick, he said I could tell them that I was "calling in ugly." Oy! Made me laugh till I had a stitch in my side. Alas, it could be an excuse used rather too often - in feelings if not in actual appearance. (But then again, who really looks terrific waking up?)

So, my students asked me whether we would mourn those who are damned, if we ourselves achieve Heaven. My own thought - and I'm not sure if this is true or not - is that we probably are allowed some "time" (outside of time) in which to mourn. But it says that "every tear shall be wiped away," and yet Christ still bears His wounds. Which brings me to today's amazing link: Bruderhof Communities - The Crucifix by Thomas Howard. I've no idea why the Bruderhof of all places would link to Thomas Howard on the nature of divine suffering (much less why the Bruderhof has a website...) but there you are. Nyah! YES! Christ has imbued suffering with all His divine nature, and therefore His Passion (see waaay below) is something that should not be dismissed as a mere "morbid fancy."

Those religions which dismiss suffering seem suspect to me. So much of our life is suffering in one sense or another - although I should not go so far as to, as Ch. says, be a "typical Scot" who is sure that "something is wrong with the world if he's not suffering." To say, with the Bhuddist, that one merely must overcome it, seems to dismiss all the goodness that comes out of suffering, the strength it creates in us, the lessons we learn, the life we value more greatly. Likewise, the typical Protestant response, that is to dismiss it in favor of solely the Resurrection, seems to me to miss the point of what makes the Resurrection so great to begin with. Without suffering, there is no eucatastophe. Suffering, although not something to be sought, is nevertheless redeemed by Christ who gives it meaning, who draws it into Himself and resurrects us with Him. But read Thomas Howard's article - indeed, read anything by Thomas Howard - and be better educated than by me.

Mood: Why, oh why, precious, is it so difficult to get my thoughts straight about this stupid novel? The brick wall of a jumbled screen obscures the plot.
Music: The Hours - horrid movie, good music
Thought: MONDAY TTT-EXTENDED IS OUT! And they all rejoiced.

[Edited to add:] I am going to...maybe not cry, but certainly say "Poot!" with great force and much ferocity. I am stuck stuck stuck stuck STUCK on this rassin'frassin' STUPID novel. >huff huff< Not stupid, no. Rather I'm the dummy here. But it simply...is slipping through the sieve that I like to call my brain. I can't focus, I can't get it work, and I've had all stinking day! Ugh! I suppose it's something to do with not being in practice - writing that is. But...UGH! Alright, enough venting. Off to at least read what I've written months before, remind myself to "kill my darlings" and get to the point. I'd rather not leave this ridiculous seat until at least ONE PAGE, heck, I'll settle for a paragraph, has been completed. Gah! Lord, Lord, Lord! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalp!

[Edited to add to add:] I've suddenly had a panic attack. Monday are auditions. Monday are auditions. Stupid panic attack, I know but.... Sorry, my brain had played mind games on me today re: what day it is in what relation to other days, oh gah...! I think I need to change the music. The Hours is starting to grate on my nerves....

[Edited to add to add to add:] Mark Shea says it best on the first page of his blog: "So that no thought of mine, no matter how stupid, should ever go unpublished again!" :) Preach it, Mr. Shea!