Prithee, m'lorde, doe thou'all knoweth thine grammyre?

Just got back perhaps an hour ago from the NY RenFest (yes, they had power). We actually got there on time, which amazed me since we'd left at 6 a.m. and took two pit stops (for food and gas). Stayed until 4:30, got out on the road at 5:00, and then pulled over from 6:00 - 7:00 p.m. at a McDonald's in Conneticut because traffic was so horrendous, we might as well wait it out over dinner.

But it was a really fun time. It was great to be driving down with Jules, listening to Newsies, Down With Love, and Pirates of the Caribbean among others. We prayed a rosary on the way down, which was splendid. I love praying the rosary on long trips in the car. There's something relaxing about it, and altogether accessible.

Once we got there, though, it was...odd. Good, but surreal. All these people in costume, many of them barely clad - many of them far larger than both of us and barely clad >shiver< - as though the Renaissance was entirely peopled by wenches. Some fabulous costumes as always - men in leather, hmmm! Men should be encouraged to wear tailored leather - if they've the figure for it - or tailored greatcoats, waistcoats, and poofy sleeves, if they haven't. Put on the clothes, me boyo! >Granny Orc catcalls insert here.< Lovely, strapping boots on one - I want those boots. I could use them. Put them in a play.

In fact, quite a bit of the day was spent shopping. We did our share of wandering, sat in on "Two Brave and Stupid Men" who did silly swordfighting (which I am so stealing for Pirates of Penzance), watched Macbeth (more on that in a minute), and caught (and bought the CD's of) the Crimson Pirates who do these magnificent vocal arrangements of old sea chanties and drinking songs. (ARGH! Timber me shivers!) But the main activity consisted of poking about the shops and realizing - for Julie - that most all the clothes she can make - and for me - that here was a treasure trove of THEATRE STUFF!

Yes, mes cheres, I am now the proud owner (I never thought I'd say this) of a pair of horns. Ram's horns. Smallish white ones. That are fitted on a string that can be tied around your head. And will be worn by whatever poor...er...lucky sot who happens to be cast as Puck. I also got a double-eared tannish Jester's hat (with bells, thank you very much) which will serve as Bottom's ears when he's given the head of an ass. Also purchased body/hair glitter - copper and purple - for the fairies. (Fairy court beware! Bwahahahahhahah!) I lingered longingly over leather masks - you know, the Green Men, the types with funky noses, stuff that would be used in Commedia dell'Arte - but, alas for me (I'm sure my actors will be thrilled!), they all cost waaaay too much. So, I think I'll simply body paint my fairies. Extensively. In green, purple and gold. Mwahahahahahh. Aherm. Right.

And I would like to admit right here and now that my name is Emily Snyder, and I am a feathered hat addict. Nor was my obsession alleviated by this amazing shop that specialized in feathered hats to order. Oooooh, Pirate Ki-ing? >birds tweet, lashes flutter< How do you feel, my darling, if we got you a "really big hat" with not one but TWO feather boas and sundry other pins of feathers? Hmmm? Would that make my kingy-wingy happy? Well, it'll make me ecstatic, and that's good enough! Bottom will probably also get a prototype tophat, much feathered, if I can convince my purse of it. I think I'll be able to. Yippee!

Macbeth was a script cut down to fit into an hour and a half, which was a very good thing for although the performance was EXCELLENT, the benches were all alas tipped forward and to the left, so that you had to hold yourself on it to keep from slipping. Not particularly comfortable, esp. when the ribbing on your rather well-worn bodice has decided to poke through into your hips. Blaugh. But they used the Wyrd Sisters quite well - ex. one came in when Lady Macbeth has her whole "unsex me now" speech. They were doing the same movements - the witch and Lady Macbeth - quite effective. And in the "Let's Kill MacDuff's Wife and Son" scene, which I believe is Act III and therefore acts as a break for Lord and Lady Macbeth, the director said - HA! And Lady Macbeth came in to warn Lady MacDuff, and then the three assassins came in - and in the middle of the stabbing fest, Macbeth revealed himself, took the baby, ran up the stairs, and then reappeared through a second door wiping his bloody blade on a bloody and empty swaddling cloth. It was really good horror, and as Julie pointed out, much like abortion. >shudder< And then in comes Lady Macbeth, sees all the dead bodies, starts sobbing, stands and strikes Macbeth across the face. He grabs her hand and throws her aside, and they both exit. FWAH! Makes their relationship and her craziness later on suddenly understandable. My darling old Sherriff of Nottingham (the one who played it when I used to be a regular to the RenFest) was Macbeth and did a splendid job - got the hysteria, the jovialness, the need to please, the craziness, the power, and the humour of the character marvellously. *sigh*

But, beyond the oddness of being back in a place so well known although last visited some six or seven years ago, and beyond remembering that this was such a neo-pagan and uninformed view of the Renaissance (what DO they teach them at these schools?!?!??!), I found that I was most jarred by the actors'/vendors' attempts at "Renaissance Speak" which consisted in calling everyone "thee" or "m'lord/m'lady." Now, I'm not perfect with my second person personal, but I've been working on it (as Niamh will attest), and have at least become really sensitized to it. So when two vendors quite innocently addressed me as "thee," I glanced sharply at them, with the thought - "ExCUSE me?! We are NOT on intimate terms!" as though he had just said, "Hey baby, hubba hubba" or something of the sort. I'd have to actually stop myself and remember that they were just trying to sound vaguely medieval (or something - again, they have NO idea of time and history! Augh!). Same thing with addressing me as "m'lady." Now, to Julie whose costume was something straight out of that abominable Shakespeare in Love (great costumes, abominable story), this would be a perfectly good assumption. She was dressed as a lady. But THEN, the vendor should NOT have called her "thee" demeaningly in the same breath! Nor should they have mocked me (who was in peasant gear - easier to throw together!) by calling me "m'lady." Oy! People, go study. Honestly (I mean, who throws a cupcake?). The extra "e's" and inserted "y's" were inne abundynce, of courfe, the bettyr to convynce thee of our authenticytie, mine fweete. (C'mon y'landlubber! Conjugate just one thee - I dare thee!) Oh, and I nearly died when an entire audience was addressed as "thee." I'd no idea we were the Borg.

I'm not really upset at these grammatical errors. Who really makes a study of such things, much less who can use them properly with ease? I have since located several conjugation errors in Niamh (mea culpe!), but at least I hope I didn't make aggrevious consistent mistakes. But, like I said, the real difficulty isn't the grammar, but that this is a symptom, and indication, that those who put on this RenFest have no interest in actual history, or in Christendom, beyond their own cynical (and frequently abusive) views on the subject. *sigh*

But I am now listening to The Crimson Pirates and all is well. I have Frederic's crucial pirate bandana for Pirates of Penzance, the video camera *kind of* works on Dad's computer but still skips, and I ought to sleep so I can return *sniff sniff* the rental car tomorrow. And singing loudly to Moulin Rouge and Chicago, after eating an ice cream and drinking two cokes can combine to wake even the most sunstrokey of Emilies so that she may drive through horrid rain and traffic and construction home, home, home!

Mood: Sea-Salty. Midsummer Night's Dream eager!
Music: "Moonshine Remix" by The Crimson Pirates
Quote: Aarrrgh! Avast ye! >snicker<